I feel like Alice. Who is Alice? — @belleartmovement

I feel like Alice. Who is Alice? — @belleartmovement

by Teodora Anghel

Sometimes I don’t even know which Alice.

 I’m always trapped inside a world, but never mine. In this Wonderland I can not see anything wrong, imperfect, or without its place. But I wonder, everything has something bad, isn’t it? I’m walking down these little roads, full of trees and flowers. It’s a peaceful state of mind, in which I do not belong.

 Why is everyone trying to convince me to stay in a place where I don’t feel like myself? Why should I step on my heart, instead of being the one who releases her, ready for her great plans? I will not listen to the queen or the Mad hatter. This time I will listen to myself.

 Looking for something that will make me feel, even just a little, that I want to live for it.

 Or maybe I’m just Alice the killer, killing without mercy all my hopes and dreams. I tend to be happy, but I’m the one that murders all the good in me. I welcome in my private garden awful things, like overthinking, fear, regrets, disappointments, and pain. I am the one who receives them as if they were at home, letting the good thoughts go, them taking their place.

 I’m my own Alice, sometimes the good one, sometimes the bad one. But, most of the time, the murderer demands the blood of the one she was.

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